More likely than not, when people are angry or upset, they are expressing their “position” or a hardline stance on something. It’s important to teach youth how to identify underlying needs and interests by asking open-ended questions to learn more. “Tell me more…,” “What would you like to see happen?,” “What do you need?” etc. …
Have youth respond in writing to the prompt “I wish my __________________ (fill in person or role) knew…….” in order to learn more about their personal lives. This activity allows for deeper connection with youth and often brings up social-emotional challenges the person is facing. Many people find that doing this in writing is easier …
Used to confront a behavior without placing blame on another. . Also used to recognize one’s emotions. Another use is to state a point of view without requiring the other person to agree with the point of view. To use an “I” Statement, start a sentence with “I” and describe how you feel, without including …
When a young person is in the throes of anger, panic, or emotional outburst, often their minds and bodies are experiencing a stress response whereby they literally feel unsafe. Instead of yelling at them or isolating them, let them know that they are safe. Try saying, “I am here for you. I love you/I care …
An interactive game to learn names and qualities about people in a group, that teaches skills of investigation, appreciating diversity, identifying similarities and differences. Photocopy a “human bingo” sheet (many samples are online) for each participant. Each box will have a characteristic or something a person can do or that they possess. Examples include: “can …
When appropriate, hugs help us feel better. When a child is having a tantrum, try asking for a hug or saying, “When you are ready, I’d be happy to give you hug.” Rarely does anything more need to be said and everyone can move on.
Design a huaka‘i or fieldtrip for youth to help them better understand the history, culture, and land systems (ahupua‘a) of Hawai‘i. Your huaka‘i might focus on indigenous culture (i.e.: lo‘i, fishpond) or local culture (i.e.: plantation village, sugar mill). Think about (1) Arrangements – researching, making the reservations, cost, what to bring; (2) Logistics – …
After analyzing the information surrounding a problem or challenge, what is your reaction? Were the systems fair? Why or why not? Identify one or two youth to do video interviews with fellow children/students to learn their reactions. Compile them into one video piece. For young children, this can be facilitated by parents, caregivers or teachers …
A reflection activity that can be done as part of a family meeting, intervention, restorative justice session, or other time in which a “big picture” outlook is desired. Typically done in a small group of people that have love and concern for another group member. For example, a child undergoing a significant change such as …
Learn about Ho‘oponopono, the Hawaiian system for ‘setting it right,’ and restoring individual and community harmony and balance. It promotes acts of healing interpersonal conflicts and is relationship-centered and not agreement-centered. It often involves forgiveness. During Ho‘omalu, practitioners sit in solitude and gather strength prior to speaking one’s true feelings. With all family members working …