Provide spaces for youth to practice the skills of mediation between them as well as facilitation of group discussions and problem solving. Hone their skills in active listening, open-ended questions, leading with solutions, etc. Role playing different scenarios is an effective way to learn to mediate and facilitate. (See also: Rotating Facilitators)
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Take on a particular current or historical event. Find disparate sources of reporting and media on the event to compare. Who wrote the articles? Ask why they are presenting very different perspectives on a particular issue. What is the tone of each article and how does that make a difference in how we feel about
Role-play one act of kindness each week with words or actions. When acts of kindness are noticed or a classmate shares an act of kindness they received from another child/student (this can be done in circle time), they get to color a decoration and hang it as an ornament on a tree. Youth can watch
It is the AND that brings kind AND firm together to avoid extremes. Begin by validating feelings and/or choices when possible. Examples, “I know you don’t want to brush your teeth, AND we can do it together.” “You want to keep playing, AND it is time for bed. Do you want one story or two?”
These are positive interactions that we can make with each other “just because”, meaning they are not in response to what someone else does. “Just Because” interactions can be given to all youth regardless of their behavior or effort, in order to show that they are noticed and cared about. Examples include: general greetings, asking
These are more powerful motivators as they make use of the brain’s natural opiates. Intrinsically motivating tasks are personally relevant and challenging. Minimize the emphasis on competitive grades and punitive measures by having youth think about what tasks and projects make them feel a sense of pride and care in both the process and outcome.
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In order to develop respectful relationships between all members of a group or community (classroom, team, family unit, etc.), there must be a clear and strong presence of intellectual safety. The group leader states: “All participants in our community – youth and adults – must feel free to ask any question or state any opinion
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When a young person is in the throes of anger, panic, or emotional outburst, often their minds and bodies are experiencing a stress response whereby they literally feel unsafe. Instead of yelling at them or isolating them, let them know that they are safe. Try saying, “I am here for you. I love you/I care
When appropriate, hugs help us feel better. When a child is having a tantrum, try asking for a hug or saying, “When you are ready, I’d be happy to give you hug.” Rarely does anything more need to be said and everyone can move on.
Learn about Ho‘oponopono, the Hawaiian system for ‘setting it right,’ and restoring individual and community harmony and balance. It promotes acts of healing interpersonal conflicts and is relationship-centered and not agreement-centered. It often involves forgiveness. During Ho‘omalu, practitioners sit in solitude and gather strength prior to speaking one’s true feelings. With all family members working